A year of NEW

Is it possible to be changed by someone I’ve never met?  To be inspired by someone I’ll never know?  To change the way I view EVERYTHING by someone I’ll never be like?  Sounds impossible but it’s true. 

I spent most of the last day of 2009 reading an article about her followed by her blog which led to more articles which led to you guessed it, more blogs.  I can’t stop thinking about her.  I can’t stop thinking about her amazing journey and her amazing style.

Sure I’m one of only 40,000 plus readers of her blog.  Millions of viewers that have seen her on Oprah and the Today Show.  I am sure I can join all of them as someone who’s been moved no CHANGED by her.

What a perfect time to experience this change.  The new year has come and so has many new “news”. 

A new view on life.  Life can be very simple.  It can be very hectic.  It can be very discouraging.  It can be very rewarding.  It can be what I want it to be because I am the only one to make decisions on what I want my life to be.

New view on the way I see my children.  I am looking at them through new eyes and I love what I see deep in each of my four children.  Their laughter is contagious.  Their love is sincere.  Their concern is genuine.  There service is selfless.  They play to have fun.  They sleep because they are tired.  They stop eating when they are full.  If we could all be like little children.

It’s the new way I see my family.  I love and miss my parents and my sisters so much that at times it really hurts my heart that I am not close to them.  That I can’t just call and say “hey, let’s do lunch”.  That when I find a craft that I’m dying to try they aren’t here to join in the fun and design with me.  That the new dress I have just found should be owned by all of us and even better that I found it on sale.  I want to be closer to my sisters in more ways than one and that is my new goal this year.

The new style or rather the repressed style I have hidden deep down inside of me is dying to come out.  I’m going to ignore the voices that tell me “it’s not ideal, it’s not the trend (actually it is really becoming the trend more so), it’s not functional, it’s not cheap, it’s not found in Bakersfield” and make that style my own again.  Sure I may have freaked Cordell out this morning when I said I wanted to redo my entire house.  Sadly I’m sure he knew I was a little serious.  I love old things.  I love bright colors.  I love vintage and delicate things.  If I could I would live in my Grandma Uzelac’s house just the way it was when I was 8 yrs old.  The beautiful speckled floors, the detailed bed spreads, the floral bathroom full of color.  The front room filled with so many beautiful trinkets that she rarely let any of the grandkids in that room.  I want an old house full of windows, color on the wall, and full of life.  Oh, can I also have my grandma’s flower garden on the side yard too?

A new me is on the horizon.  I’m going to wear things that make me happy and not worry about weather or not it’s “in season”.  I’m going to make things without analyzing too much or worrying that it’s not perfect.  Nobody else is going to notice right?  Just the fact that I was able to make something makes me happy.  I’m going to craft or what my sister and I like to call “design” (sounds better than crafting) more.  I used to love finding old pieces of furniture and remaking them over.  Sew more too.  I’m going to spend more quality time with each of my kids developing their character and hopefully trying to teach them along the way.  I would like (well not really) to take more pictures of me with the kids.  I am always the one behind the camera and hate the way I look in pictures.  Sad will be the day when my kids can’t find a single picture of their mom when they were kids because I was to self conscious to take one.  I’ll try better.

I’ll try better at my church callings.  I’ll try better being the kind of friend my friends deserve.  I’ll try better thinking of ways to serve instead of excuses not to.

Lastly, I’ll try to blog things of importance and not make any future posts as long as this one has turned out to be.  I’ll be happy that I posted this because like any real person who has an epiphany or new years resolution it doesn’t last past January 12th.  I’ll just read this post once a week to make sure I’m on the right path.